Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The future

Things I'd like to see.
In Mass Effect 3.
  • Natal Face Mapping.
Yea I like to play as myself. Just can't get the jaw right.
  • Sex.
I want sex. Mature enough for the eff bomb but not enough for hot alien sexy time?
  • Tits.
Come on. Who doesn't want more tits? Possibly some ass too, oh and don't forget the nipples. Jiggle physics, the best innovations in videogames, needs to be in the best videogame.
No I am not joking.
  • More Females.
Is it me or is the galaxy a sausage fest of Salarian, Turian, Volus, Batarian and massive Krogan dick? Its one of the things in the game that constantly nagged at me. That one little inconsistency that stopped me from really immersing myself into the game. I know that it would be a huge chunk of disk space to have all those models, voices, skins, animations and armatures in the game. But by god will it go a long way.
  • More Fashion.
God dammit Garrus, put on some new armor! Granted in the last game swapping and changing their shit made them feel less substantial, more like dolls than actual individuals. But Garrus' armor just gave me the shits.
  • Vehicular Man Slaughter.

You know what? I liked the Mako. The bouncy little tank that could. I don't understand peoples complaints about it, how ham fisted do you have to be not to be able to drive it. It seemed pretty easy to me. The Firewalker DLC makes up for this deficiency, but I still want more than five levels of hovertank madness. More expansive terrian wouldn't hurt either, with fast paced vehicle combat.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Why my girlfriend is better than yours.

Cause come valentine past she took me to Timezone.

Thats right, a video game arcade, with screaming children smelly teens, smelly asian teens showing the other teens how its done, disturbingly quiet asian children giving the loud ones a good what for, and asian businessmen playing streetfighter, in suits which probably cost more than the machines their playing on.

I'm one of the smelly non asian teens, playing Wangan Midnight Maximum Tune 3 DX, the most awesome racing game of all time. I don't even bother to join in on the games of the other asians because of there 1 bajillion horse power road rockets.

But I have something that none of the others have. No-one, not a single guy in the store. A backseat driver. Specifically my girlfriend telling me the finer points of how to downshift on the straights for burst of speed, screaming at me to go faster as the guy behind me was gaining.

Now thats a girlfriend.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Well of course the police are to blame.

Gemma was just trying to have fun.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Hubris escapism.

Alright this would have to for me the biggest problem I have when I write. The lead always has to be me. Not in a 'hey what would I do...' sense but more along the lines of... exactly the same.

I don't know why, well I do, but its embarrassing to say the least.

Its pure escapism, I don't know how it works with other writers, but I write simply as way to escape and its really. Just me penning down my boyish fantasies. I would suspect that this method is seen as rather amateurish. Well I am just that really my works, more like attempts, of writing have only been seen by the eyes of a very few people.

Protagonist not just taking on my appearance, but my name in variations, and a transplant of a uber personality. Really just a badass version of my rather unimpressive real life personage.

I would one day hope to become an author, make money out of my escapist fantasies. For all I know this could be a winning stratagem in writing, or it could be a glaring trademark of amatuerism and well, crap. I guess only by putting more of my scribbles out there for review will I truly be able to adapt, and evolve my writing.

Time, more of it.

Well I am a few days from some, probably not, well deserved holiday time. Not that I had too little free time as it was but with the holiday coming up I'm about to have about three months of it.

While I have more than my share of spare and often wasted time on my hands when I'm a 'dilligent' student. This almost hedonistic level of free time to do nothing will most likely culminate in nothing. Maybe a severe case of cabin fever, and perhaps sore genitals. I tend to masturbate excessively when I stay still for too long.
Though I have faith that I will do something constructive, I've been riding a creative surge for the last few days on my writing. As it goes with me I hit highs where I can hammer out several pages in one sitting, to lows where I just don't have it in me and at best can excruciatingly force out a few lines. Luckily in the face of all this free time it looks like my writing will go on unimpeded.

I have also recently just dusted off my Wacom tablet, it had been neglected for some time in favour of study and desk space. My writing urges though usually don’t go hand in hand with my illustrative ones, so at best all I can hope for is a use disjointed sketches of nothing, in wistful attempts to hone my soap stone blunt skills.

All in all, I love my spare time. You’d be hard pressed to find someone who enjoys wasting time as much as I.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The beginning of the beginning...

...Of an endless and unceasing diatribe from me to the rest of the world. Politics, social trends/injustices, and morons of the wide world, will be ammunition for this blog. And don't worry, this title is somewhat misleading, this will not be one the countless horde of blogs which their composer feels the need to grace us with their opinion of a grainy low res picture of a drunken woman wearing little clothing. Called me old guard, but I have better things to convey.

Though it will mostly likely contain a high number of firearms, possibly one of my favourite topics, I have always loved firearms, though I was quite simply born in the wrong Country for it. Don't get me wrong I love this country, just not the protectionist, anti-choice legislation governing it. While its true I have, unfortunately, very little experience with firearms, it certainly won't stop me from passing judgement, though mostly it will be for vanities sake. Along the lines of, 'my word wouldn't a Mateba 2006M look good on my hip?' Something along that line of fantastical wistful daydreaming.

And what would a healthy males blog be with out dissertation and musing on video games, the blessed thing pratically raised me. I will make the occassional review, blither incoherently about how good a game is, or just plain old complain and nit pick about a sloppy peice of coding and design.

And as mentioned above a good portion of the blog will be angry enrage rants about what I see as slights against me, justice, common decency and the human genome. In a nutshell it involves me pounding at the keyboard in hamhanded anger.

Cheerio pip pip and good day to all.